


Don’t deny you never ran

by lanyon



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-09 00:20:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5518454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanyon/pseuds/lanyon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn thinks that the first thing Poe Dameron gave him was his name.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don’t deny you never ran

**Author's Note:**

> +This is mostly for Laura. It's also for Sarah.  
> +Title from Glen Hansard's _Lowly Deserter_.

Poe looks at Finn and wonders how this kid doesn’t know he’s a hero. Sure, he’s been scared and he wanted to run away but he didn’t and BB-8 has told Poe everything. 

Sometimes, he wants to keep Finn from learning how to communicate with R2 and BB units, just because it’s hilarious to watch the change of expressions on his face as he tries to parse what the hell they’re saying. Instead, Poe finds the programmes he used to learn droidspeak and Finn is a quick study.

“It means BB-8 and I can’t talk about you behind your back,” says Poe, carefully as he grips Finn’s shoulder. He’s seen the scar down Finn’s back and it’s a damn wonder that he wasn’t paralysed. Finn smiles up at him and Poe is unwilling to admit the effect it has on him. “We’re willing to take the hit, though.”

Poe knows that he’s a hero and that’s not just arrogance talking. He is arrogant but, in the way of any pilot, it comes with a healthy dose of contempt for self-preservation. He may have found a kindred spirit in Finn.

He has found a kindred spirit in Finn. 

The other pilots adore Finn and even though Poe is not above pissing in a circle around his heroic friend (his hero, his), he’s not going to stop Finn making new friends because Finn has never had friends and he has never had a name, except for the one Poe gave him. 

Finn hurts, and Poe knows it. There’s the physical pain and Poe knows what it’s like to be on the wrong side of Kylo Ren but there’s also the way that Finn misses Rey and probably loves Rey, too. 

That’s why Poe introduces Finn to everyone, and tells them that Finn is a hero, and if anyone has a problem with a former Stormtrooper being in the Resistance now, they’re going to have to come through Poe. 

BB-8 makes a suggestive beep or two, that has Finn scrambling for a code book and Poe burying his face in his hands. 

“Don’t you have a maintenance check-up?” 

BB-8 beeps that it does not and that it’s far more entertaining to watch Poe and Finn. BB-8 says that it’s reminded of C3P0 and R2D2 which is about the most insulting thing Poe can think of except maybe romance is different for droids.

“Please go, buddy,” says Poe, his words muffled by his hands. 

BB-8 beeps again and rolls off and Finn drops his code book on the floor. 

“I’m never going to get it,” he says, and he lies back on Poe’s cot. 

“Buddy,” says Poe. “You’re streets ahead of where I was when I started learning. I just wanted to fly and didn’t get why the hell my mother wanted me to learn from books.” 

Finn looks over at him. “Really? You’re not just saying that?”

Poe feels kind of sad that, for all his trust, Finn is already learning that people don’t always say what they mean. He gets the impression that in the First Order, there was little time for artifice. 

“Finn, I swear, I’ll always say what I mean, to you.”

Finn smiles and covers his eyes with his arm, stretching out, and Poe doesn’t really mind that it means his sheets will smell like Finn. 

“I’m doing well with combat. I guess it helps that I can show them how stormtroopers are trained.”

“It helps, sure,” says Poe. “But, you know. You’re not just valued ‘cause of where you came from. You know that, right?”

“The thing is, I don’t know where I came from. Not really. I didn’t even have a name, till you gave me one.”

Poe’s insides curl and twist uncomfortably. “I mean, you don’t have to keep it —”

“No,” says Finn, abruptly. He sits up so fast that Poe is sure it must play havoc on his back, healed or not. “I love it. It’s mine. It’s the first thing I ever got that’s _mine_.”

Poe swallows past a lump in his throat. He stands up and walks over to Finn, touching his shoulder gently. “Nah, you got me, too.”

He moves away except Finn’s hand shoots up and he wraps his fingers around Poe’s wrist. Finn’s looking up at him and Poe really has no idea what he’s doing, which has got to be a first for Poe Dameron. He moves and settles down on his knees, between Finn’s legs and he reckons that they’re both equally surprised. He rests his hands on Finn’s thighs. 

“We can find out where you’re from,” he says, softly. He can’t really imagine not remembering his parents but he understands that he was more fortunate than most, even losing his mother so young. Her memories of her are as a magnificent, unparalleled pilot who loved fiercely.

There are some who say he takes after her. 

“The General is helping me, a bit,” says Finn. “She thinks, maybe, the Force. Maybe that’s why I wasn’t a very good stormtrooper.”

Poe smiles and he reaches up and cups Finn’s cheek. “Why you’re a very good man.”

“She says that,” says Finn.

“She’s a smart lady.” 

“She kind of reminds me of Rey but maybe that’s the Force, too?” 

“Maybe,” says Poe, not willing to speak of the speculation that’s been going round the base since Rey showed up, and then left again. He looks up at Finn again. “You tired, buddy? You look pretty beat. They’re not working you too hard, are they?”

Finn laughs. “It’s not really like work but, yeah. I should probably go back to my quarters.” 

“Stay,” says Poe, impulsively. “It’s warmer here, and quieter.” 

“People are already saying stuff about us,” says Finn, looking pretty bashful. 

Poe would bet that Finn doesn’t understand all of it. “What are they saying?” His skin feels too tight and itchy with it and he’s sure that Finn is going to pull back and insist on going back to his own quarters.

“That we’re. Well.” Finn lifts his hand and cups Poe’s cheek, mirroring Poe. “I don’t mind,” he says. “I like it.”

Poe swallows and he can’t look away from Finn’s eyes. “Really?” He bites his lip till it stings. “Do you know what it means?”

“Yes,” says Finn, with the same sort of determination he uses to bluff through interactions that confuse the hell out of him. He deflates slightly. “Sort of.”

“It means that a lot of people think that we’re together.”

“Together,” echoes Finn. “Yes, exactly.” He rubs his thumb over Poe’s cheek and it tingles and Poe wants to chase Finn’s thumb with his mouth. He stays still. “In the First Order,” says Finn. “They told us that if we were struggling with, uh, subduing a village, to go for the spouses of the local fighters. That it would distract them. Because love is a weakness.”

Poe flinches and shakes his head. “It’s not a weakness.”

“I know,” says Finn. “But I know that I’d be, uh, distracted? If something happened to you.” 

“Oh,” says Poe. “ _Oh_.” This time, he does catch Finn’s thumb between his lips and he sees how Finn’s pupils dilate. He looks down and unlaces Finn’s boots, tugging them off, one after the other. “C’mon,” he says. “Lie down.” 

He stands up and kicks off his own boots and takes off his jacket. “Budge over,” he says and Finn obediently shuffles back. He’s lying on his side and Poe lies down to face him. “It’s not a weakness,” he says. “Feeling like this isn’t a weakness.”

“You feel it too?” asks Finn. 

“LIke nothing else,” says Poe and he should be terrified that he’s admitted anything of the sort. He’s not arrogant enough to think he’s left a trail of broken hearts throughout the galaxy, though there probably are some beds that will be colder now. 

Finn moves to lie on his back and Poe immediately props himself up on one elbow, looking down at him, resting his hand on Finn’s chest.

“It’s just a bit much, sometimes,” says Finn, thickly. “Feeling a lot of new stuff, you know?”

Poe leans down and touches his lips to Finn’s, without really thinking it through. Finn gasps against his mouth and he’s pliant, beneath Poe, but not passive. They kiss for a long time, until Poe thinks that he’s probably embarrassing himself with the sounds he’s making, quiet and eager. 

Finn’s expression is sleepy and he smiles up at Poe. “Yeah,” he said. “That— That’s good. I like that. Is it always like this?”

Poe tilts his head to the side, unsure of what Finn means.

“Like there’s nothing else in the galaxy?”

“I guess it is if we’re doing it right,” says Poe. He’s pretty sure they’re doing it right. 

Finn clenches his hands in the front of Poe’s shirt and tugs him down. “Better keep training, then,” he says. 

Poe has no complaints, even if it means having to endure knowing looks from everyone from General Organa down to BB8 tomorrow. He has no complaints when Finn pulls his shirt off and rolls them over, on Poe’s narrow cot. Being skin to skin with Finn is better than anything Poe’s felt before and he runs his fingers down the raised scar that trails from the nape of Finn’s neck to his lower back. It’s as well he didn’t know Finn had been so badly injured until they were returning from the Star-killer base because otherwise being distracted would have been the least of his worries. 

Finn’s kissing along Poe’s shoulder now, then biting at the base of his throat and Poe lets out a groan. Finn’s head shoots up. “Is that okay?” he asks. 

“So okay,” says Poe, grinning lazily. “So very okay.” He runs his hands up and down Finn’s sides, where he’s unscarred and his skin is smooth. 

Poe parts his legs and Finn settles between them and they’re both wearing pretty restrictive trousers but it doesn’t matter for now because the pressure is so so good and Finn is making these hungry noises as he laps at the skin of Poe’s chest. 

“Finn,” he says on a long, low sigh, cradling the back of Finn’s head in one hand. Finn surges back up to kiss Poe, in a clash of teeth on lips and then they’re rocking together in earnest. Poe reaches down, scrambling with shaking hands to unzip his trousers and Finn’s, to somehow shove down their pants and Finn lets out a string of invective that he can only have learned in the past few days on base. Poe wraps his hand around them both and the friction is almost unbearable except they’re both leaking so much that his hand’s movements soon become slick and fast. 

Finn buries his face against Poe’s throat and Poe is dimly aware of the way the cot is creaking beneath them and he is very much aware of the way his balls are tightening up and then Finn is coming, with a strangled cry, muffled against Poe’s skin and he fumblingly reaches down to wrap his fingers around Poe’s and that’s it, really; that’s all it takes before Poe is coming, too. 

“Where’d you learn to do that?” asks Finn, sounding sleepy.

“Yavin 4,” says Poe. The words feel thick in his mouth. “‘s more where that came from.” 

“Good,” says Finn. 

Poe thinks Finn has fallen asleep when he speaks again. “Guess they’re right,” Finn murmurs. “About us being together.”

“Guess they are, buddy,” says Poe, tightening his arms around Finn. 

BB-8 is going to be impossible.


End file.
